My mom sent this to me and I thought it was just too cute:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
——————————————–
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
A classic. But in all seriousness I think you and your mom should take a listen to Elizabeth Gilbert: Committed http://shar.es/aQeg2
The story of one woman’s efforts to make peace with marriage before entering its estate once more.
Very 21st “centurish! Funny but almost true
Tech Support,
I have to say that I’m extremely frustrated with my upgrade last year from girlfriend 4.0 to wife 1.0. During the time of girlfriend 4.0 system performance was great with no known issues. Sex was almost daily, going out dancing, to the movies were also within the normal tolerances of system performance. There was an occasional nagging pop-up screen that was easily closed with a nice dinner and the before mentioned sex.
I took a friends word that it was a great thing to upgrade to wife 1.0. There would always be the same operating system I had become used to and It would operate the same as I had set my own custom settings.
I decided to make the purchase and upgrade to wife 1.0. While I do love wife 1.0 there have been some noticeable changes in said operating system. System performance has slowed down considerably. Sex seems to no longer be in my default list of installed applications, and when I do try to install it. I’m always told I don’t have the right drivers. The original settings no longer take effect such as the “close nagging pop-up” is no longer effective and I have no idea on how to get this issue resolved. I also started getting error messages that come up just as I’m trying to fiddle with the mouse and get “sex” application installed. Errors such as “I don’t feel well, I’m tired and my all time favorite; I just dont feel in the mood.” come up. I was a pro a girlfriend 4.0 but am totally lost with wife 1.0 and have no idea what happened in the upgrade.
So, could someone please tell me how to keep wife 1.0 but have it operate like girlfriend 4.0?